tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57453165221378804722024-03-05T02:59:13.911-05:00True Words OutspokenI started this blog because I needed a place to express my real self and try to connect with others the feelings and opinions I have about life. I called this blog true words outspoken because i used to be a wallflower who didn't speak up for myself or do what i wanted to for me. So since I am now, I redirecting myself and showing others the daily thoughts that run through my mind. And they may be good, and they maybe bad, but you know, I don't care how you judge me because I know who I am now!
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-40694065942515535052015-12-12T23:24:00.000-05:002015-12-26T01:40:26.409-05:00I Don't Know Where To Begin~!Dear World,<br />
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Lord only knows how long it has been since I've written to you. It's ridiculous and I ask for your forgiveness. There is a lot going on and to sum it up will be quite simple, don't trust me!</div>
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First of all, I am a senior now!<br />
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But I've been a senior for a couple of months and It's not all cracked up as it is suppose to be. I'm still tired and sleepy and busy. I still get to school late and I still get good grades. Sometimes I believe I can do it, that I can finish out strong, but sometimes I be feeling like:<br />
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<a href="https://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhxichAr3i1qcwod8o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhxichAr3i1qcwod8o1_500.gif" width="400" /></a>Yes somewhere in between the time I stopped blogging and me starting to blog again, I have become more open. According to my sister, I have become "ratchet" but I don't understand how. </div>
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Anyway, as I've said before, a lot has happened. I have been in a relationship and not I'm out of one. I have been awarded stuff and struggled to feel loved. I don't really know where to begin in this. All there is to know it that:</div>
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1. I've gotten surgery on my ACL and I'm getting surgery.</div>
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2. I dated someone and broke up with them because they were obsessive. </div>
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3. I am a senior now. I am applying to a lot of colleges and want to study Creative Writer. </div>
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4. Sometimes I want to give up and let life win. </div>
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5. I feel pain pretty often and that's not good because it's affecting my health </div>
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6. I haven't written or read anything for leisure in a while</div>
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7. I am still alone and still feel that way even around people I call friends. </div>
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8. I am bisexual and change modes of gender when I want,</div>
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9. I still in ways hate myself</div>
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10. But I don't want to die!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-41062449280990656342015-03-10T23:13:00.002-04:002015-11-25T20:05:46.730-05:00Justicia Yo Soy, Yo Soy Justicia!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://institutowemcr.org/articulos/images/noviol.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://institutowemcr.org/articulos/images/noviol.JPG" height="315" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Para este publicacion, voy a estar hablando sobre un la problema muy serio que necesita estar discutido en ingles y esponal. Este publicacion es el version esponal. </span></b></h2>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">El movimiento contra violencia domestica en las mujeres comienza con el mundo familiarizandose con el idea que ellos o ellas son el cambio a justicia. </span></b></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Hola, Mi gente, es el momento a hablar sobre violencia domestica contra las mujeres en Guatemala. Sabias que 91% de violencia intrafamiliar que ocurre es contra mujeres. Yo no soprendido si usted no sabia. Que es por que el movimiento contra violencia domestica esta empezando a compatir el mensaje que somos el camino a justicia. Yo poienso que cuando el movimiento establece que somos el cambio a justicia, que estan diciendo que es nuestro trabajada a encontrar justicia por los asesinados, los torturados y los casos no resueltos de la violencia domestica conrta las mujeres. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">El movimiento usos mucho de estilos diferente que son muy eficaz. Las personas en el movimiento uso los medios sociales, musico, arte y filmes. Una mujer llama Kimberly Batista inspirado el movimiento cuando ella crea un filme sobre la desaparicion de su hermana. El filme es llamado "Justicia por mi Hermana". Originalmente el filme iba a ser sobre la violencia domestica contra las mujeres y como los casos de violencia domestica contra las mujeres ir sin resolver en Guatemala, pero entonces su hermana desaparecido y nunca mas volvio. La busqueda por su hermana fue filmado y revelado poco despues de que su novio le habia golpeado hasta la muerte y dejo en la cuneta. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Segun a el filme, 580 mujeres en promedio son asesinado en Guatemala cada ano. Batista querido este imformacion a ser compatido con el mundo asi ella creado grupos de discusionses. Batista empeza tener su equipo salir y ensena jovenes estilos a preventir violencia domestica contra las mujeres y otro personas. Yo pienso que este estilo es muy eficaz porque cuando ellos ven el filme, pueden entendar lo que las mujeres experiencian. Cuando los hombres saben lo que las mujeres experiencian, pueden empezar a crear y hacer un cambio. Yo siento que este movimiento es muy influyente en ayundando el mundo ven como serio la problema de violencia domestica en Guatemala es. </span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-4702484835891646232015-01-06T18:47:00.001-05:002015-12-26T01:37:29.974-05:00Call It Another Year!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Happy New Year I should say, although I'm starting to hate this time of year because it's that time where people go "New Year, New Me". I'm not surprised because I used to be that person. But this year, I have come to realize that changing who you are isn't important. It is being who you are that is. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So many people forget that the reason they are who they are now are because of the things and experiences they have done or gone through in the past. So If you happen to like or hate those things, don't embrace change, just be who you are and reflect on the lessons you have learned. </span><br />
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<a href="http://www.omahaknee.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Torn-Anterior-Cruciate-Ligament.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="http://www.omahaknee.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Torn-Anterior-Cruciate-Ligament.jpg" height="297" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">This year for me, I don't know, has been a little rocky. First, If you don't recall, I tore my ACL back in August during Soccer Tryout.Practice and I think I already told you that I need surgery. I had an appointment the other day and basically I have to wait until the end of the school year to have surgery done to my knee. The only thing I hope for is to not fuck it up before then, because if I do, that'll be some serious damage. </span><br />
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<a href="http://www.eatsimpleloveyoga.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/moving-snoopy2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="http://www.eatsimpleloveyoga.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/moving-snoopy2.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Next is we are moving, again. And the funny thing is, we are moving down the street again! I don't know but this has been the second time we've moved down the street and I just find it hilarious. And so does everyone else. I told my cousin and he said "<i>Hahaha! Y'all just keep moving farther and farther up the street. I guess if you move up the street enough times, you'll be outta the city."</i> It's a true statement, so there nothing to b mad about. Anyhow the thing with moving is that we have to be out of here in a week tops. And I've already missed a day of school because of an orthopedic appointment so this week is going to be very stressful. Next week is mid-terms and I just hate life right now. Oh God, Sometimes I want to cry, but I always remind myself that this is temporary because there is a cycle. You have up and you have downs and you just happen to be in the downs right now. But eventually you'll go back up!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEjH8pPDUGY98D0mritYnbAvI5COXdwZa3AqMYYJE4SHo-kcMt7hyphenhypheniK_8IflAApCOyLUrz4EFHGP54YDzKZMiFdJSFZSIO33oSPtRuw9qEUz6XDwlwu9Ews_oP3hOZZChTJbTUSiRcN_BhoLDlnydk19EJqbMFo=" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61S4qiYiwTL.jpg" height="320" width="207" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.hachettebookgroup.com/_b2c/media/cache/d1/c0/d1c08f6a91d2a87499161c38361f1d09.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="http://www.hachettebookgroup.com/_b2c/media/cache/d1/c0/d1c08f6a91d2a87499161c38361f1d09.jpg" height="320" width="211" /></span></a><a href="http://literatureandlaura.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/these-gentle-wounds.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="http://literatureandlaura.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/these-gentle-wounds.jpg" height="320" width="206" /></span></a><span style="font-size: large;">Right now in English we are reading Kafka on the Shore and it is a really interesting book. I am currently like on the seventh or eighth chapter so I haven't gotten that far yet. But I know it's going to be a good book. It might even be good enough to make it in my favorite's collection.I am also reading this book I ordered off of Amazon called "<i>Ask The Passengers" by A.S. King. </i> It is a really good book, I am halfway through it already. I have so many books that I am reading at once. I am about to read a new book that just arrived to my house that is called <i>"These Gentle Wounds" by Helene Dunbar. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">That's about it so far, I might post later in the month to tell you how it's going. </span>
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Now it might seem odd that I chose racism as my topic because I do know about Racism and it's history. But I chose to mix it up a bit and tell it from another angle. Below reads my idea:<br />
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<i>Racism is the mistreatment of ducks. It started in 1342, with this farmer named Jim Reed. He would always brag about the ducks he owned and how beautiful their wings were. He did it so much that people got angry and stormed to his house with pitch forks and fire starters. Eventually, it led to the burning and lynching of many ducks. Ducks were often associated with chickens and thus the mockery of chicken wings began. This racism still occurs today and Jim Reed remains unstopped because his ducks wings are beautiful.</i> </div>
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Now seeming as though I associated Racism with ducks, I did it because it was the first thing that popped into my head. And as the first sentence began, I just furthered it with things I always imagined are associated with bragging. Usually a robbery occurs or people get frustrated and leave people alone. My intention was to do the opposite. I chose to have people get frustrated and come to him, in which they would complain. But mostly when people complain, they don't want anything extreme to happen, but in this case, I chose for it to, because that's how mistreatment works. </div>
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You see, this whole story might be crazy and you might think WTF. But everything happens for a reason. There was a reason I wrote this story, and there was a reason why I wrote it the way I did. There is a reason why Racism of ducks into my head and why people find beauty so violent. Overflowing beauty was the theme. I don't know if any of you <span style="background-color: red;">caught</span> but hey, it was there, You just have to look closely to see it. And the reason I chose to not identify a color, was because it doesn't matter, because no matter what, we are all something. And who are you to judge, let alone, make yourself worth of someone else being below you. </div>
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I'm not a conformist, I just believe in equality. Most people advocate for it and don't even understand what it is. If your advocating for higher wages, is that because you want to be rich like them, or because you feel everyone should be able to have the same opportunities. If your advocating for gender, human rights, or LGBT, are you doing that because you believe we are the same, or to just show that you are a good person. See there is a difference between self-worth and awareness. </div>
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Do you know what it is?</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-32700771905111863812014-11-12T22:45:00.001-05:002015-12-26T01:35:14.552-05:00Butterfly Not Burning<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1316729733l/420464.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1316729733l/420464.jpg" height="320" width="214" /></a></div>
<a href="http://www.nathab.com/uploaded-files/carousels/TRIPS/Monarchs-Photo/Central-America-Monarchs-Photo-2-butterfly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.nathab.com/uploaded-files/carousels/TRIPS/Monarchs-Photo/Central-America-Monarchs-Photo-2-butterfly.jpg" height="166" width="320" /></a>The title actually has it's own story. In school right now, we just got finished reading this book called Butterfly Burning, and it's about the downfall of a love between Phephalaphi and Fumbatha. I like this book, even though at the end she kills herself by setting herself afire. So the title of this post is "Not Butterfly Burning" because I am not in love, I am not in distress and I am not going to kill myself, well not anytime soon at that!<br />
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God has been good to me. And so has society so far. I haven't been having any stressful anxietic breakdowns for like two weeks which is awesome! Today I got my high school class room and now I feel like an official junior. I feel that at this point in time I am doing the best I can to be all I can be. I would say that I am still trying to figure out who I am, but then that means I have been trying, which I am not. I am just living in the moment and it actually feels good to because I don't overthink or make judgements about things. All is well!<br />
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Apart from that, I just want to share a poem with you that I wrote a few months ago. It was inspired of course by the show "How I Met Your Mother" and the main character "Ted Mosby". I won't give away what it is about, I'll let you analyze:<br />
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I’ll find you standing in the<br />
coffee shop trying to get your<br />
daily mocha or cappuccino,<br />
whichever one decides to come first.<br />
You’ll smile at the cashier and try to<br />
make her laugh at your corny joke of the day.<br />
And for the sake of life, you won’t stop wearing that tie<br />
I bought you from when we first met because you<br />
said it will symbolize the many build ups I would have<br />
in your life. And for the first time, I actually<br />
believed you because not one moment goes<br />
by that you don’t remind me how pretty I am,<br />
despite how I may feel about my looks and my body.<br />
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Now the only thing left to<br />
do is meet you in this world of<br />
seven billion people. I wonder where<br />
you are and what you are wearing now before<br />
I symbolize not just your wardrobe, but your life.<br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0CdwNXgeTro/VGQokKy4ufI/AAAAAAAAElM/Xm220i-ktws/s1600/My%2BCamera%2B018.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0CdwNXgeTro/VGQokKy4ufI/AAAAAAAAElM/Xm220i-ktws/s320/My%2BCamera%2B018.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
That's basically it for the update, I will post next month and you can check in again! Of course, if you even want to contact me, just comment or email me. Till then, tootles!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-7759618866453061872014-10-23T19:15:00.001-04:002015-12-26T01:34:34.466-05:00Untitled<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/b6a27cbe3c8b7d0b80e81684d53b2d1e/tumblr_mnrjoai4lv1r0he73o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/b6a27cbe3c8b7d0b80e81684d53b2d1e/tumblr_mnrjoai4lv1r0he73o1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>There are many things my friends don't know about me. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I often feel very alone and nobody seems to notice. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>And maybe that's my fault because they usually just see the happy side of me. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>But truly, there is no happy side of me. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>When I smile, it is temporary.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I cry constantly, and of course I hide it. </b></span><br />
<a href="https://40.media.tumblr.com/c26d0f0d0d1e222302c07faee25a0001/tumblr_n8151sojev1t90fmto1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://40.media.tumblr.com/c26d0f0d0d1e222302c07faee25a0001/tumblr_n8151sojev1t90fmto1_500.jpg" width="268" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Rejjia, Eat Something: "I already did"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Rejjia, Cheer Up: "I'll be alright"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Rejjia, What's Wrong: "I'm just tired"</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I just thought that by now someone would have seen behind all my bullshit. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>But of course not, because people only care about their bullshit. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Life is easy, it is a full time job, that why I don't bother looking for employement anymore. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I thought that by starting this blog, people would actually listen and understand me better. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>But of course, nobody really cares. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I am trying my best to hold it all together, to try not and crash and burn.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>But when you have no one there to truly see you for you, it's pain, constant pain. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I don't know what to do after this. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>And I don't know who I am anymore. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I just know that I'm tired of being alone. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I'm tired of being a failure. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I'm tired of being laughed at. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I'm tired of being unloved, ignored and pushed away. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I'm just tired.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>That doesn't mean I'm going to do something rationale. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I'm going to continue living, but just know I'm tired. </b></span></div>
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<a href="https://40.media.tumblr.com/7a5dafde310a8874416ba7794b7844f9/tumblr_mncupuT2LV1s38syxo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://40.media.tumblr.com/7a5dafde310a8874416ba7794b7844f9/tumblr_mncupuT2LV1s38syxo1_500.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I know what most of you will say. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Rejjia. you're not alone. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You have friends, you have family. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But where are they?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Mom: Another bill in the mail? Tired?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sister: Sleep? Irritated? Scared of the Kitchen?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Friends: Too Busy? Distant? Fake? I've Got My Own Drama!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Family: See ya next Thanksgiving? Christmas? Easter?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm Passive, so I Understand.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But Do You?</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-27478778525443654072014-10-12T00:20:00.002-04:002015-12-26T01:33:00.061-05:00Coming to an End <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I've decided a few things about life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The first is: <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://40.media.tumblr.com/dbe7b4672360ef6a3dab1def6dd456ae/tumblr_nbpxd3vsca1smunnzo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://40.media.tumblr.com/dbe7b4672360ef6a3dab1def6dd456ae/tumblr_nbpxd3vsca1smunnzo1_500.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Life is fair no matter what. It is society that is not!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The second is:<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m20l0sULOP1r3tyqso1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m20l0sULOP1r3tyqso1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You may never find that one person who sees all the bullshit behind who you truly are! Lord knows people are blind!</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The third is:</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://31.media.tumblr.com/f9756931248786c9ac389820f55a3525/tumblr_ncbdkygCbQ1twmvzoo1_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://31.media.tumblr.com/f9756931248786c9ac389820f55a3525/tumblr_ncbdkygCbQ1twmvzoo1_400.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="font-size: medium; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Love hurts, especially when the person you love has no idea.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The fourth is:</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://33.media.tumblr.com/178c73284748254c7331875504b6b3ee/tumblr_nd7ai0ttCJ1tmzz9uo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="205" src="https://33.media.tumblr.com/178c73284748254c7331875504b6b3ee/tumblr_nd7ai0ttCJ1tmzz9uo1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="font-size: medium; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Suicidal thoughts can be helpful; sometimes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The fifth is:<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/c88e7311f43f4685c3bf29189cc0da08/tumblr_ndaeh3hmYG1qlfzoio1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/c88e7311f43f4685c3bf29189cc0da08/tumblr_ndaeh3hmYG1qlfzoio1_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
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</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Feminism is a good strategy to empowerment.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The sixth is:<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://31.media.tumblr.com/425740d6e2e37a85b2425488dff8b93d/tumblr_nd8u7dVjfd1tgetkko1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://31.media.tumblr.com/425740d6e2e37a85b2425488dff8b93d/tumblr_nd8u7dVjfd1tgetkko1_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Doubt in religion can make you more spiritual</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The seventh is:</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--QdeDbwdCR4/VDn04byu9WI/AAAAAAAAEjw/8oe8Ft4bBck/s1600/Things%2Bon%2BYour%2BDaughter's%2BCamera%2B125.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--QdeDbwdCR4/VDn04byu9WI/AAAAAAAAEjw/8oe8Ft4bBck/s1600/Things%2Bon%2BYour%2BDaughter's%2BCamera%2B125.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="font-size: medium; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Listen to some of the moments presented to you in life. They want to tell you something.</span></div>
<div>
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</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The eighth is:<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LyGQ9PZL7qk/VDn3ufKwxWI/AAAAAAAAEj8/s0vtRwRl7IA/s1600/Things%2Bon%2BYour%2BDaughter's%2BCamera%2B120.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LyGQ9PZL7qk/VDn3ufKwxWI/AAAAAAAAEj8/s0vtRwRl7IA/s1600/Things%2Bon%2BYour%2BDaughter's%2BCamera%2B120.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You should use yolo to be young and reckless, just be young and reckless.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The ninth is:<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/74d41a6945fdc6c54dbd910fe25b8388/tumblr_moog60z5Eu1qa3xsho1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/74d41a6945fdc6c54dbd910fe25b8388/tumblr_moog60z5Eu1qa3xsho1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ignorance is bliss</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The tenth is: <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://31.media.tumblr.com/de3514baa4f328f23652eef06a8526fe/tumblr_mfwz93oqUZ1ri2bsio1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="172" src="https://31.media.tumblr.com/de3514baa4f328f23652eef06a8526fe/tumblr_mfwz93oqUZ1ri2bsio1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You will never ever truly be happy because sadness is the only truest emotion that doesn't need to be said; its to be felt.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Fact of the matter Is....</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://40.media.tumblr.com/6d32fc233ca698cf1e9f7dd5de9b663b/tumblr_muwiyrIUCA1rwht1eo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://40.media.tumblr.com/6d32fc233ca698cf1e9f7dd5de9b663b/tumblr_muwiyrIUCA1rwht1eo1_500.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://40.media.tumblr.com/71207c2ab175b8daedc1ee49edfe0239/tumblr_mfh834G0Gz1s17ys8o1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://40.media.tumblr.com/71207c2ab175b8daedc1ee49edfe0239/tumblr_mfh834G0Gz1s17ys8o1_500.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>That is why it all must come to an end. Not this life, but the ideas of this life, this culture, this society. But first, I must get myself together, for my heart and mind do not agree, and therefore cause me to die inside. So Farewell, Until We Meet Again!</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://41.media.tumblr.com/8b03c1315ea0b837ca78cfcd86994f73/tumblr_n3u0g5id8N1tq0ln1o1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://41.media.tumblr.com/8b03c1315ea0b837ca78cfcd86994f73/tumblr_n3u0g5id8N1tq0ln1o1_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-65301777043669419622014-09-04T21:34:00.001-04:002015-12-26T01:33:18.146-05:00Evaluating the Mindstate <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love Rocky Horror Picture Show!</td></tr>
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Hello my readers, today has been like any other day in Baltimore City, hot, long and ignorant. While I struggle to maintain my vision of my future, It is further corrupted and affecting the personality of the person I want to be in this world. But you know, I'm not going to get into that because it will just further make me mad. Instead, I will talk about how my lifestyle is now, now that school is back in session. Extra-Curricular activities are my life now. Ever since my leg injury, I have been able to participate in my clubs early this year and man is it insane.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My new theme for the year!</td></tr>
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Firstly, I have debate club in which I love without a doubt. The new resolution for this year is <i>The United States Federal Government Should Substantially increase its non-military exploration and/or development of the earth's oceans. </i>Yeah, it's broad, but hey, it is all about interpretation. Anyway, as I work on my cards and notes for that, I still have to be assigned a partner which is like ugh, because that means I have to find someone. And sometimes I am not the best finder of things.<br />
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Secondly, my next obligation is Robotics. This year is to be very competitive because we lost last year and it didn't feel to great. So this year, we are getting our start. This year, we have to design a robot that has to be able to move these plastic cubes and stack them. It's called Skyrise and it is being run Vex Competitions. Even though it seems challenging, our robot brainstorming has it's underway.<br />
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Thirdly, my next club obligation is Newspaper. Yes it is a way to actually get my stuff read from paper print, and I can write about anything I want. That is the beauty of it. Other than these, I have clubs that are still going underway for later in the year like ADL, One City One Book and Bcc Echoes.<br />
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<a href="http://33.media.tumblr.com/3a4402d00be3502f4e005146ac391834/tumblr_mtll8kjUkI1r2a7jeo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://33.media.tumblr.com/3a4402d00be3502f4e005146ac391834/tumblr_mtll8kjUkI1r2a7jeo1_500.gif" height="212" width="400" /></a>I am not really worried about the schoolwork now, but I bet later, it will get worse, but until then, I am going to live in the moment. Other than schoolwork, back comes the issue of school dues. I have to buy my ring and all the payment has to be in by October 30th. I have this to worry about, and I also have my homelife to worry about. I seriously need to start working. I know some of you might be like, "<i>Uh, Do you even have the time for a job?"</i>. Maybe I do, and maybe I don't, but I have to put my education and my family first, and if anyone with leadership skills, they will understand the perdicament I am in. I won't let it get the best of me, but I know it won't be easy. All I can hope for now is that everything works out for the best. Because the one true statement I will always believe is that "<i>Things Change, Friends Leave, and Life Doesn't Stop For Anybody!" </i><br />
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Goodnight and inform you again!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-89616581143920404992014-08-27T19:07:00.002-04:002015-12-26T01:30:29.623-05:00Junior Year<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H9cgSPhE_hA/U_5b3ey5tKI/AAAAAAAAEjc/ADRgskcPBFo/s1600/My%2BCamera%2B005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H9cgSPhE_hA/U_5b3ey5tKI/AAAAAAAAEjc/ADRgskcPBFo/s1600/My%2BCamera%2B005.JPG" width="400" /></a>So as you know or don't know, I am now a junior in high. This year is going to be really exciting and hard at the same time, but I am going to try and do my best to keep my mental stability in tact! I have my guidance counselors, my teachers and my family to get me through hopefully when the times get rough, and not to mention my incredible friends, who will all be struggling with me. As I mentioned before, I attend an IB World School and it's basically a college preporatory school, which means every course I take this year will be intense and leave me no time for a life to live! #TeamNoLife! Lol, But I'll Manage.<br />
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This is My Schedule:<br />
1st Period is IB World History<br />
2nd Period is Probability and Statistics<br />
3rd Period is IB Film<br />
4/5th Period is Spanish III<br />
6/7th Period is AP Comparative Government and Politics<br />
8th Period is Lunch<br />
9/10th Period is Biology II<br />
11th Period is English III<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was my reaction, but a little more intense!</td></tr>
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Other than that, what has been going lately? Well basically the usual, just focusing on what I am going to be doing during the year. I usually during the fall play soccer, but this year, I didn't make it because I got injured and you can't play if you're injured, so yeah. I don't quite know what quite is wrong with my leg, but I limp when I walk and I can't bend my knee. This sucks but what can I do. Anyway, I wasn't mad or sad at all, I was actually happy because this just gave me the opportunity to start clubs early. I participated in Newspaper, Robotics, Speech and One City, One Book last year. This year I am doing Newspaper, Literary Magazine, Debate, and Book club and maybe Robotics this year. I don't want to overwhelm myself with all these obligations because I know how intense this year can get and I know how I get so this is it for now.<br />
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Since I am a junior now, I have a lot of dues to pay. God, there is so much to pay for. I have to pay for my school ring, which is seperate from school dues. I want to get a job in the spring to at least help me get a little money in my pocket to pay for stuff. I have a little saved up, but not enough to pay all of my dues. I am trying my best not to stress about it, but I do have to keep it mind somewhere. Included in my dues are paying for prom, but the thing is that I don't even know if I want to go to Prom. I'm not much of a dancer or a person of interest of the opposite sex, so what possible fun could I have at a prom?<br />
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But forever problems will reign on, so the best thing to remember is:<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-1654845971663169552014-08-18T12:00:00.000-04:002015-12-26T01:31:18.840-05:00The Downsides To Being A Writer. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hey Guys, I am so sorry about last week. I had not a lot to say in about a short period of time. I have really been busyt with school stuff, but here is something I have been working on. My list is not complete, but this is what I have so far on the downsides of being a writer:<br />
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There are many great things about being a writer. Like the fact that you can create stories to entertain people and also having people you actually know or don't know feel really excited to read your next creative work! Just to clarify, writers include poets, authors, journalist, essayists, etc. But there is always an opposite to every good or bad thing. And sadly, thre is one for writers. There are those downsides that can just be so annoying and I just wanted to make you aware of them, if you are thinking about becoming an writer.<br />
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#1: Say Goodbye to Dreaming</h4>
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Now, when you are a writer, ideas will pop in your head anywhere at anytime. This even means right before you are about to go to bed. Now you might be ready to go to bed, but your mind isn't. While laying down with closed eyes, your mind will think of the best idea ever, forcing you to have to get up, grab a pen and write it down before you forget. This has happened to me plenty of times, and though it is very very very annoying, it sometimes can be rewarding. But sometimes it can be stubborn, especially when you lack sleep and you must write this idea down. So say goodbye to your dreams because they are about to become fictioned realities. </div>
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#2 Writer's Block</h4>
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Everyone gets this one from time to time. But when it happens, it can happen at the wrong time. It always seemed to happen to me when I had something due like an essay or newspaper report. I just wouldn't have any ideas until the last minute when I would already have some bs conjured up and on paper. I would just have to redo the entire thing. And it sucks because writer's block makes you feel usless and worth nothing because as a writer, you should be able to come up with anything, even if it is ridiculous. It's an idea. This is one of the most annoying downsides to writing because there will be the times where you won't have anything to write for months and that can make you feel like a failure. But don't, it will eventually blow over soon, just make sure to always have your pen and pencil ready.<br />
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#Always Being Prepared</h4>
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As a writer, you are, by basic instinct, always have to be prepare for whenever you have an idea. That is why no matter what you do, you carry around your pen and paper/journal waiting and ready for it to be accessible. That means you will always have to carry some type of book bag or purse to carry all of that in which can be annoying, especially if your just planning to enjoy yourself on the beach. And it's not like you can stop yourself from not taking it, because as soon as you decide not to take it, a thought in the back of your mind says "You'll Regret Not Taking It Because The Best Idea Will Pop In Your Head Later". So you run back and grab it. And for that enture day, you don't write an entire word. Always being prepared can be such a burden and annoying, but as a writer, it's basic instinct so get used to it. </div>
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That is all I have so far. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rest In Peace<br />
Robin Williams<br />
1951 - 2014</td></tr>
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I just want to take a moment and talk about the death of Robin Williams. He was a great actor, comedian and husband. He suffered from depression and parkinson's disease, but of all things, he suffered from lonliness. He felt he couldn't share that side with us because he felt he would get judged by society and of course the media would make a big deal about it. So he kept it to himself and suffered with it until he could deal with it anymore. I want people to be aware of the things people do and say in life. Robin Williams was a great man, and although he committed suicide, he wasn't selfish, he was in pain, and that is all something we should understand. Robin Williams was an artist among many things and he will be missed. Let us rejoice in the things that he did and changed upon this earth and remember that he is "Oh Captain, My Captain"!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-71933709958785549622014-08-12T16:46:00.000-04:002014-08-12T16:53:25.593-04:00Religious Wisdom<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/244dc7ce0b27faeaf6d08cfc1bbd27bc/tumblr_my91hcuuaj1qeff0xo1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/244dc7ce0b27faeaf6d08cfc1bbd27bc/tumblr_my91hcuuaj1qeff0xo1_1280.jpg" width="320" /></a>Some great wisdom once came to my knowledge when I was going through a depression phase. I once realized that when life is at its worst, things must get worse before they can get better. Life has great ups and down and we have to try our best to live through the downs of life so that we may experience the good. If there is one thing that I can say I've learned from my faith, it's this:<br />
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<i>"Living in this world isn't easy, and God makes sure it's not, but at least he created hope so that we can believe in something better for ourselves.</i>"<br />
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When we go back and revisit the wisdom we once had, we are presented with the choice to either keep believing that wisdom or consider it to be untrue, thus opening the door for new knowledge to enter from the next heartache. I haven't quite decided what I want to believe yet, but I know I believe in God and in Destiny. Some part of me feels that pain is the only way to actually feel happiness because you must experience that to understand the idea of happiness. Happiness is not an emotion, it is an idea. The only thing close to the real idea of happiness is peace.<br />
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See, I don't really read the bible much because I feel most of it isn't accurate or that it contradicts itself, but what I do believe from it is that love and peace are the only real things a person can hope for. Some of you might just think I 'm stupid and don't have the experience to say most of this, but just because I'm young doesn't mean I don't know things, it just means I have experienced some things in my life that have shaped the corners of my book (life).<br />
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I haven't really been writing a lot. I write something small from time to time. Right now I'm really focused on school stuff and making sure my health is in check. If I forgot to tell you guys, I got braces like last this past June and I want to get them in check before I go back to school. Another concern is my chest area, I've been having weird burning sensation in my breast areas, so I wanted to get that checked out. I have set appointments but now I am awaiting and that just kills me because I want to make sure I am okay! Then next week I have soccer tryouts so I want to make sure my health is okay for that. <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-86026422631877453182014-07-31T14:00:00.000-04:002014-07-31T21:30:54.825-04:00Speculations<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>Dear Friend, </i><br />
<i>Sometimes I feel so insecure because of the fact that I don't have boyfriends like other normal girls to. I know I'm not normal, but part of me wants that normal part. The part that let's me get the chance to experience love with someone I actually like back. Is that so bad to want.</i><br />
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<i>I know that I'm not the prettiest girl out there and some part of me wants to believe that the standard of beauty is set too high, but when does it get to a point where it's set low. I mean is there even a low standard. It's stupid to think about it. But the truth is, I do feel ugly because guys don't look at me the way they look at other girls and that makes me sad. I want to be able to have a guy see me for me and actually like me back. I don't know, maybe I still need to be patient, but when does it get to a point where I don't have to anymore. When is my time?</i><br />
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<a href="https://36.media.tumblr.com/40d734949a3e90c036a02a9052974623/tumblr_mwmbg34Viv1ri720lo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://36.media.tumblr.com/40d734949a3e90c036a02a9052974623/tumblr_mwmbg34Viv1ri720lo1_500.jpg" width="320" /></a>I wrote this one day while sitting at home thinking about why I feel so insecure. I concluded with trying to be patient, but also trying to ask God why isn't it my turn. I honestly don't get myself sometimes because I do a lot of things and say a lot of things that I don't mean just so that I can convince myself of the possibility it might actually come true. I know most people say I am to young to be thinking about love and should be focused on school. But most of my life is school, 24/7 so why can't I experience a little life now?There are many people out in this world and there has to be one of them for me.<br />
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In other news, I have been focusing a lot on my reading and my creative writing. I am currently reading this book for school called "Wild Swans" by Jung Chang. It is about Chinese Communism and I have to read it for IB World History. It is an okay book so far, I am learning a lot, I guess that is good. I saw my schedule for the school year. I am not going to be able to do Creative Writing which is really what I want to do, but I am able to do IB Film. And in a way, I guess that kinda benefits me because I am thinking of doing screenwriting and this could be my start to submitting stuff for the Maryland film festival. I am a little worried that I might get to that bad point again where I have a breakdown for it might get to stressful. I just don't want that again.<br />
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<a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/2ca34669fe356094e1c5962b58c14796/tumblr_n94jb9naVH1qz93cno1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/2ca34669fe356094e1c5962b58c14796/tumblr_n94jb9naVH1qz93cno1_1280.jpg" width="300" /></a>Besides reading and writing, I also have been on top of music. I have planned to go to about three concerts and I really want to experience that. I love this new artist named Sam Smith. He reminds me of Adele if she was a dude. I also like the new Ed Sheeran album "X" which is pronounced multiply. It is really good. I have planned to see them, Austin Mahone and Twenty One Pilots. Hopefully if I do see these artists, I can actually say I have had the best summer of my life. I also like this artist named Magic!. They have this song named Rude and it is just so funny but rebellious, and you no me and being a rebel.<br />
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This Friday will be my last day at work. I am happy because I also get paid Friday. I have big plans. Besides practicing and training for tryouts for soccer, that is about it. Have a great weekend and if you have anything to say, just leave it in the comments. See ya later, Gator. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-62697429217532016372014-07-23T00:00:00.000-04:002014-07-23T00:00:08.160-04:00Here We Go Again! What Should I Do? I Need Answers!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Here we go again. I am scared out of my mind. I have begun to have a crush on another boy and this time he's older than me. Well he's one grade above me. Oh God! The last time I went through this was with a friend of mine and when I told him how I feel, things were never the same. I just don't want that to happen this time. And it sucks to have it be this way, but it is something I have to let be. I talk about living in the moment, well that goes along with going with the flow, right? I don't think I ever told you the story of what happened with the first situation, so let me explain. <br />
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(Names Have Been Changed To Hide The Identities Of These People, Except Me!)<br />
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<a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/6f1f3ed65ca647e9f3c1f365eccbb4b5/tumblr_mk2mevaXjO1s3oe2qo1_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/6f1f3ed65ca647e9f3c1f365eccbb4b5/tumblr_mk2mevaXjO1s3oe2qo1_250.gif" width="320" /></a>It was during my freshman year of high school. I had been about the second week of school. I met a boy named Henry and he was nice. We has Biology together and he was my lab partner. We always were lab partners. He was nice and funny and sarcastic, all the things you would look for in a friend. It was cool at first, until I started to feel more than friendship. Everything we did together from then on just made me like him more. We say together at lunch, we debated together and we compared each others lives together. And I was loving, we ended the school year cool and made saw each other sophomore year. And we still sat together, bu this year we had no classes together, bummed, but everything was fine, right up to the point of midterms of sophomore year when I decided in my mind it was time to tell him how I felt. BIG MISTAKE, BIG, HUGE!<br />
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But before I told him how I felt, I started dropping hints to tell him how I felt. So I wrote this little secret admirer note to myself and said someone had sent me this email. The first person I showed was Henry. I asked him: How would you respond to this if someone left you this note:<br />
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<i>Dear Rejjia,</i><br />
<a href="https://31.media.tumblr.com/dea438a8be5f41305e379c24e2fd7c3c/tumblr_n2pmyd15zU1rsadwno1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://31.media.tumblr.com/dea438a8be5f41305e379c24e2fd7c3c/tumblr_n2pmyd15zU1rsadwno1_1280.jpg" width="296" /></a><i><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Now, don’t freak out cause that will just make things a whole lot worse. Don’t go showing this to people asking if they knew who wrote it because they’ll all say no or either laugh, trust me, I know. The reason for this letter is to start a secret admirer quest. I can’t really tell you my feelings in person because I’m not that brave when it comes to relationships and telling someone I like them. So that’s what these letters are for. Now these letters will show up occasionally in some place unexpected. You won’t find out who put them there until I am ready to reveal myself to you. </i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Sincerely, </i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Awkward</i><br />
<i>P.S. This is the Beginning.</i><br />
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So I showed him this and said he would be flattered, and a little freaked out but more interested in finding out who it was. So by that judgement, I decided to not do the letter idea and decided that a old school questionaire would do the trick. So I did that instead.<br />
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So it was november the third of last year and I had sent an email to henry with this questionnaire attached for him to answer. I was going to give it to him by hand afterschool, but when I asked to see if he would open it when he got home, he said he would just open it when I left, so I had to send it in a an email. It was terrible, but I evedentually forgot to change what was written. This is what it said:<br />
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<i>Now that you are home, you may read on.</i><br />
<i>I want you to answer these questions honestly. However you feel, please just be honest.</i><br />
<i>For me to give you these questions to answer took a lot of courage for me, even if you don’t feel mutual about the situation, just thanks for answering them.</i><br />
<i>(Remember ANSWER HONESTLY!!!!!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<a href="https://31.media.tumblr.com/e27e92988ad5b183f2956f5b78c9fa03/tumblr_n7lco4sYhD1s6p9afo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://31.media.tumblr.com/e27e92988ad5b183f2956f5b78c9fa03/tumblr_n7lco4sYhD1s6p9afo1_500.gif" width="320" /></a><i>1. Are we friendzoned? (meaning do you see me just as your friend?)</i><br />
<i>2. Do you or did you ever have a crush on me?</i><br />
<i>3. Do you like me?</i><br />
<i>4. If I asked you to go out with me, would you?</i><br />
<i>5. Do you want to have a relationship with me?</i><br />
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<i>Thanks for answering these questions.</i><br />
<i>If you did answer these questions and felt strange and non-mutual on the subject, all I have to say is sorry and I hope we can still be friends.</i><br />
<i>If you did answer these questions and felt mutual, then I will find out tomorrow and me and you will talk. </i><br />
<i></i><br />
<i>Goodnight.</i><br />
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He didn't respond to my email that entire weekend so I knew I was going to have to hear his response when I got back to school that Monday. So that Monday when I came back to school, <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I first avoided seeing Donovan at all. But then I told myself to stop being a coward and said I will avoid him until lunch time. When It was time for Lunch, I avoided going over to where we sat together with our other friends. I instead went over to see my crew friends first. My friend Catherine who already knew the sitation grabbed me and literally dragged me to him, and when I resisted, I fell. That was embarressing, and she didn't even help me up. She just continued to walk towards him. But that was besides the fact because I had to stop her from going over there. So then I got up quicker than a man realizing he had ants in his pants and went over where henry was. I then hesitated and went back to get my stuff for lunch which was back over to where my crew girls were. </div>
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I got my stuff and then I finally went to where we sat and then I had l already known that he had read the email, since he hadn't respond to me back in email what he felt. So I sat down and braced myself for what I already knew would be the answer. I could just tell by the way he looked and the way my friends look at me when I came over. He looked at me and said "I just wanna be friends" and I said okay. I was bummed, but I had already known that it would end like that. The rest of that day was suckish. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. It just wouldn't come out of me. I was just so mad at myself for even doing it in the first place. I had tried to figure out why I had did that to myself when I already knew his answer. I was just bummed so I decided to not think about it. </div>
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So Thanksgiving week came around and I just forgot about it and pretended things were back to normal between me and henri, but I could tell it wasn't. It was Awkward. really really Awkward. I could tell it was really awkward because we didn't look at each other for an entire week. Whenever one of us talked, we pretended to be doing something else, or just ate something and look away. I hated it, I just want things to be back to normal between us. But I knew it wouldn't be. So I went away for a while. I didn't sit where we I used to sit. I now sit with my crew or sometimes in one of my favorite teacher's classroom. </div>
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But now it has been months and we still talk, just not as much as we used to. We don't debate together anymore, but we still have sarcasm. It might not be what it was, but at least it is there. And it has made me a better person. I have been more outgoing since then. </div>
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<a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/b7e3e9b2aad2a096fee2992ecfc94186/tumblr_mvhzgpZjPt1s7gykyo2_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/b7e3e9b2aad2a096fee2992ecfc94186/tumblr_mvhzgpZjPt1s7gykyo2_500.gif" width="400" /></a>But these new feeling for this guy leave me to be scared. He's a gentleman and he's funny and mature. And I am kinda scared to tell him how I feel because I don't just want to be friends with him, I want something more. And I don't know if I can handle another "Let's Just Be Friends"!</div>
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What Should I Do? </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-76939031463194447372014-07-17T00:28:00.001-04:002014-07-20T18:34:40.144-04:00Time is for the Futhermore<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I know, I know. I haven't posted in a while and that has made me kinda sad because I really have nothing to talk about right now. I am living in the moment and trying to make the best of everyday. Most of the decisions I am making are good, and when I am caught between a dilemma, I used something close to Eenie Meenie. It's called: "Cas Sausage Is Out" I don't know, but anyway, I have something exciting in mind for you. Starting Monday, I have some tasks for everyone do until the month of July is out. Take them at your own pace. They are very simple so they shouldn't be a burden. But before I list them, check out this new persuasion piece I am writing:<br />
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<a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/6faa86f69cea363545ec5b14e9f52dc0/tumblr_mzkzxj6fhX1roapxto1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/6faa86f69cea363545ec5b14e9f52dc0/tumblr_mzkzxj6fhX1roapxto1_1280.jpg" width="320" /></a>Flying isn't just a metaphor, it's a reality. Some things in life may seem to good to be true, but maybe acceptance is the only way. We are so quick to deny what may seem to be impossible when maybe it's us that's afraid. We are always so in a rush to get somewhere that we forget the true purpose for even starting the journey. We all want to fulfill our destiny in this world, but it takes time and patience and consideration. The only thing we can do is live in the moment until it is time to make the seconds count.<br />
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Yeah, that is all I have so far, but It something. I'm not finished, but something will come of it. Anyway, here are your tasks for now. Please email me or send pictures of how they are going (rejjiacamphor43@aol.com)<br />
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Task #1: Whenever you have an embarrassing moment, number it, (for example, Embarrassing Moment #23: Get excited when someone sees you, but it actually turns out that they were talking to someone else). I have had about a number of these and I just give big numbers to describe them. Think of it as an inside joke!<br />
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Task #2: Go into a store and buy something you don't want. I bet you later, you will be glad to have it. I once went into an art store and just wanted drawing pencils. But then I ended up getting a sketch book that I didn't want. Now I use that sketchbook almost everyday at work. I draw random things and people and eyes of cousrse.<br />
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<a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/0b18d9e7ccca111c151dceb3490ab2d9/tumblr_myb0votIKX1qlsq3zo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="128" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/0b18d9e7ccca111c151dceb3490ab2d9/tumblr_myb0votIKX1qlsq3zo1_500.gif" width="320" /></a>Task #3: Have a stare-off with a stranger. They will have to eventually break, so you'll win, but until then STARE! Even though it may seem weird to do this with a stranger, it is also a nice way of trying to see into someone's deeper side.<br />
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Task #4: Learn how to draw a human eye. I tried for so long to draw an eye and I could never do it right. But if you learn how to, you will draw them on everything. And this time, it will actuallly look good.<br />
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Task #5: Look in the mirror and point out something good about yourself. I don't think I have a pretty face, but I try to look for things I like about myself. Like my feet and my hands. The more confident you feel about those parts of yourself, the less you can focus on the negative and build to see the best in yourself.<br />
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Task #6: Call and tell your family members and friends that you love them. You never know when you could lose them. So say it now, in your own words. Many people don't say I love you enough and many people also neglect to tell others how they feel. So why don't you just make a call or stop by the house and say your way of saying "I Love You". (Others like Sam say Dido!)<br />
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Task #7: Try Netflix for once in your life. It is a really good place to watch things you are similarly interested in. They have lots of shows and movies. (I'm addicted to HIMYM and Being Human)<br />
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<a href="https://31.media.tumblr.com/6e02131c7ecae7bc128015ba723d6155/tumblr_n8tn6oSJhU1rixukjo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="219" src="https://31.media.tumblr.com/6e02131c7ecae7bc128015ba723d6155/tumblr_n8tn6oSJhU1rixukjo1_500.gif" width="320" /></a>Task #8: Exercise every once in a while. I am not much of a body builder, but I do exercise when I can. I am a soccer player so I am required to train for the season. I also do yoga. It doesn't have to be intense, but try and move those body parts. I walked the Gwynns Falls Trail with a friend and got lost. But it was fun. You never know what you can do unless you try.<br />
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Task #9: Read a good book. Lately, I have been slipping on reading and I am trying to get back into those other worlds. Recently, I began reading <i>If I Stay </i>by Gayle Forman. It is really good. Try the next time you get a chance to read a good book. You might just find out something you didn't know about youself.<br />
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Task #10: Write a letter to someone. It doesn't matter who, it only matters that you did it. Today's society is so heavily impacted by technology that people forget about the lovely back in the day styles of pen and paper being the means of communicaton. Next time you need to let someone know something, take a minute to think about what you are going to say and write it out.<br />
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<a href="https://31.media.tumblr.com/d1c6714b581bc0cbd88d843c34e49787/tumblr_n7ugkts7AZ1s5z95xo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://31.media.tumblr.com/d1c6714b581bc0cbd88d843c34e49787/tumblr_n7ugkts7AZ1s5z95xo1_500.gif" width="320" /></a>Task #11: Take pictures to remember the moment. I take my camera with me almost everywhere. If I don't want to miss something, I take a picture. If I just want to be funny, I'll take picture. And the picture doesn't have to be of yourself, let someone else share the spotlight. I am barely in the photos I take because I saw the moment and I wanted them to be capture. So the next time you go out, take a camera with you and click!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-52619053373089944572014-07-06T19:35:00.002-04:002014-07-20T18:36:29.019-04:00I just hope it lasts!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But It Can Have Its Consequences!</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Inspiration isn’t often hard to find. It comes around when it feels like it, or when it is needed. You find it out of the simplest things, and sometimes out of your dreams. It can be annoying sometimes and right when you’re about to go to sleep, it comes. It forces you to type it up or write it down and when that happens, it begins. The stress, the force of having to do it because if you don’t, you won’t remember. And so you would rather be up all night and tired the next day than to let that one idea go, because deep down inside, one day that idea could make you worth something. And that is all you want. You want to be known, you want someone you don’t know to know your name. You want to be stopped by a stranger and thanked for changing someone’s lives because of your book. You want to know that you matter to someone. Sure, who doesn’t want that, everyone does. But what makes you qualified? How do you know that you could handle that kind of pressure? How do you know that you’re not going to break down everytime it gets too stressful? What are you going to do?</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-84057033690103179902014-06-25T14:00:00.000-04:002014-06-25T14:00:01.405-04:00I'm Here, But I'm Not Really Here!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hello Readers & Occassional Passer Throughers,<br />
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This weeks post is not really a post. See, I am on a little vacation to a place called South Carolina. I am at Myrtle Beach. This is my first time at a beach and I am staying down here for the entire week. That means I won't be able to write this week's post. But technically, this will be filling in for it.<br />
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Lately, I have been feeling okay. I don't feel that much alone as I did before. Whenever I feel alone, I just remember the things I like to do and do that. For instance, one of the things I like to do when I am feeling alone is listening to music videos and writing quotes on postcards from the lyrics of the songs. It is actually quite fun and fustrating because you have to choose what line to write down. I try to stay away from the chorus, because if I decide to hang the lyrics on my wall, I want people to guess what song it is from! I know it sounds boring, but hey, none of us are awesome all the time! Well, except Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother!<br />
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Anyways, I try my best to cope with the feeling of loneliness. I know sometimes it doesn't seem like it, but it does get better. I just have to give it time! That is all we can really do. I know this blog may not seem to mean a whole lot to you, but it does to me. I don't care about how many people view this blog, or about what people think. All I care about is writing. I want to write to change the lives of others. Most of the time I have trouble just feeling emotions and remembering that it is okay to have them.<br />
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But writing is the one thing I know I can do in this life. I am determined to never let it stop. I will write, even when no one is reading. It will just be here until the time comes. And I know how fustrating being a writer can be, but I accept all the ups and downs of it. I accept the fustration of trying to go to sleep when all of a sudden an idea pops into my head which forces me to write it down because I know it will be the next big thing! I accept the fustration of writer's block because I love writing and nothing is ever easy. And when you live for the things you love, you life is truly complete because that is the thing that makes you feel most alive!<br />
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And just knowing that it will always be there keeps me going day after day, even when I am feeling alone!<br />
So all in all, I say writing is the best thing that ever happened to me. Goodnight or Morning to you and I will write to you again soon!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-36571723722446163342014-06-18T14:00:00.000-04:002014-06-18T17:04:58.557-04:00I am a Writer!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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There is no segway between being someone and wanting to be somebody. If you call yourself a writer, then you are a writer. But if you want to be a writer someday, then you simble aren't, but you want to be. Sometimes it can be hard, facing facts that determine the way you live your life. I know, I've had my fair share of what I want and what I need and who I am.<br />
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I've had the dream of being a billionaire and trying everything possible to make it there. I have jumped from dream to dream, pondering over the life of success I know I can reach, but not with the path I'm going. The future, something no one knows about, is scary. It is scary no just for me, but for the rest of the world. See no one knows what is going to happen in the future, that's why the only thing we can do is prepare. But some say "How can you prepare for something you know nothing about?'. Well, just by simpling TRYING!<br />
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The future for me is something advanced. Something that will set the standard for all living things and there will really only be two kinds of people in that world. You will have the ones who care and the ones that don't. I don't know which one I'll be at the time, but I routing for the ones who don't care. See I know what I want to be. I know what I have to do to be it. But sometimes actually doing what I need to do to get there is the struggle.<br />
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You should all know my passion by now, but if you don't, it is to write. I want to be a famous writer, and sometimes just knowing that scares me. It scares me because the society we live in today, many people don't like to read. Most of them are so fixated on social media and that just makes me so afraid for books in the future. It makes me question the essense of words and people's knowledge to understand the meaning of them.<br />
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I don't doubt the fact that I know what I am. I know I am a writer because that is all I really do. But my faith in society is shaking, because everything just seem so bad right now, especially with today's youth. It is simpl ridiculous! The world is becoming something I feel is dangerous and I'm just no certain if books and writers will matter in the future.<br />
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As much as this scares me, my mind still ponders on the reality, the one where I believe I can make a difference. Trying is someone I know I will always have the ability to do, even when I feel the lowest. So even if the world does turn out to be the worst place to live on in the future, I will try my best to make the world a better place even if it kills me. I will write for the ones that don't care. I wll be the person I have longed to be, not just for the sake of others, but for the sake of myself also.<br /><br />
Being a writer means so much more than what it looks like. Of course, writers write, but we also innovate, we embrace and we bring meaning to what it is to Live Life. I need to focus my energy on what the important of writing is to me. It is not about making sales or money, or gettin recognintion. It is about making something matter. I want to change to lives of others, change the way people think, for the greater good. And that is all that really matters!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-81136073666522437382014-06-11T18:15:00.001-04:002014-06-13T18:15:34.765-04:00It Is The End Of 10th Grade For Me!So today was the last day of school for my tenth grade year. I am happy and I feel that things have changed. Last year, I didn't feel that way as much as I do now.<br />
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This is how teachers feel:<br />
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This is how everyone else feels: </div>
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But this is how I feel:<br />
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Yesterday something inside me turn off. Something that actually made me become aware of the situation I am living in. All this time I never knew what was wrong with me until now! I found my root. I found the reason why I am not functioning like I want to. It is because of my family. They bickering and the arguing all makes me not express how I feel. I have to always worry about what not to say to my sister so that she won't get offended and go all agitated on me. She holds me back from being who I truly am because I always have to limit myself to her so that I don't cause a reaction from her. That is why I don't talk that much around her.<br />
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But it is not just my sister either, it's my mom too. Sometimes my mom makes stupid decisions that impact and cause a reaction from my sister. My mom, I love her dearly, can be very talkative and too outgoing. She does things that we don't really agree with, and when my sister tries to change her, it doesn't work. That irritates my sister and my mother and that just makes their relationship more fucked up.<br />
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Which leads me to why I am so messed up. When they bicker and rant, I have to try and be the one to fix everything, because that is the only thing they allow me to do and that is what I feel I have to do. They put me in the middle and I don't like being in the middle. It is too much and that is why I worry so much. It adds on to the weight I am already carrying about my future and my past and the present. I am only fifteen and I have a unpaid full time job: worrying.<br />
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What makes matters worse it that I don't think my mom and my sister will ever get on terms where they can be happy. It is that bad. I feel there is no solution to the problem and that makes me mad and sad at the same time. This feeling is conflicting with my other emotions and how I should be feeling. I just finished my tenth grade of high school and I am now a junior. I should be happy about that, but I don't feel anything! I had to take three pills of my medicine, when I am only suppose to take one. My heart can't handle this much, it is eventually going to kill me!<br />
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I just want to have fun during the summer. I want to have fun, go to the beach, meet new people and earn some money, without having to worry about them. I am not being selfish, I just need a break! I don't want to leave it off like this so I am going to end on this: Have a happy summer and enjoy it until the next year round. I'll be happy soon, so don't worry. I love all of my readers and really appreciate you for your support.<br />
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AND THIS IS A VIDEO THAT ALWAYS CHEERS ME UP WHEN SAD! IT IS HILARIOUS!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-46054702420797148092014-06-04T21:28:00.001-04:002014-06-04T21:29:19.010-04:00Second Chances:The Paul Davis Story!You know, the thing I most admire in life is second chances. It is giving someone the hope, the trust, and the privilege of trying to make a wrong a right, and in some cases and mistake that wasn't intentional. I admire second chances because giving someone that ability really scares me, because I have trust issues. I don't feel that people can change, I feel that they are themselves and to change is not possible. You will always go back to who you really are, it is inevitable.<br />
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There are some people in this world that try to force change upon others when really there is no change needed. Maybe that person is just fine the way they are, and their the ones with the problem. And when it's not their way, it's the highway, another door slammed in the face. And now that person loses a job because they didn't live up to your standard of living, Wow, some life you have!<br />
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Today I found out that A Great Teacher of mine is being let go because of some stupid rule about being late too many times. Evidently, as a teacher, you have a limit to how many times you can be late, which is at least 5 times. My favorite teacher, who is traveling all the way from the county to teach us lovely city kids, went over the limit with about four more than wanted. And for that stupid rule, he will not be returning to city college, for about a couple years when he can reapply again to work at city.<br />
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Some of you may say, well since he can reapply again, what's the big deal. Well this is the big deal, he should n't have to apply again because he got fired because of the stupidest rule on the planet. This man, this teacher, who I very much enjoy learning from was fired: (1) Not because he didn't teach his class because some teachers don't, but in fact he did and very well, (2): Not because the students were failing his class, which thousands of students are in other teachers classes, but not his as far as I checked and (3) Not because he cussed a student out because I know some teachers who have and they still have their jobs, but instead: BECAUSE HE DIDN'T DIE, AND TRY HARD ENOUGH TO GET TO HIS JOB, WHICH DOESN'T PAY THAT MUCH, FROM THE COUNTY SO THAT HE COULD TEACH HIS CITY STUDENTS WHO LOVE HIM VERY MUCH!.<br />
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Wow, the job of year goes to North Avenue, you really have the best reasons for firing people!<br />
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It is sad that this man, this teacher who has dedicated his life to teaching us kids, who sometimes are ungrateful, that drama is the world around us and it is how we discuss and observe it. It is said that educational system cannot recognize the great teachers and leaders of our world until it is the last minute. Mr. Davis, is more than just a teacher, he is friend, he is what the world rejects because they don't live up to the standards of what is needed. And maybe he never will, but I will gosh damn guarantee, he will die trying to do what's right for us kids, which is teach us that we are not failures. Teach us that we are more than what others see or what others think.<br />
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We have opinions, which do not get heard by Authority. But Mr. Davis teaches us through Drama, that performance is a way to be heard; A way that can make them listen. And right now North Avenue, they don't give a damn about us kids, just about what pays the bills. But as a start to expressing my opinions to North Avenue, I am petitioning to get my teacher's job back and I would love it if all of you would support us!<br />
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To sign the petition, go to: <a href="http://www.change.org/petitions/janet-t-johnson-give-baltimore-city-college-s-drama-teacher-paul-davis-his-job-back">http://www.change.org/petitions/janet-t-johnson-give-baltimore-city-college-s-drama-teacher-paul-davis-his-job-back</a><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-60026058533236437552014-05-28T17:00:00.000-04:002014-05-29T14:31:21.485-04:00You Say Faults In Our Stars, I Say Fears In Our Hearts!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As you can tell from the title, I have been reading the book <i>The Faults in Our Stars </i>by John Green. This book to me is really wonderful and extraordinary. When I had first heard of it, it took me into dream mode because the faults in our stars did come from the Shakespeare, who I sometimes often disagree with. But when I began reading this book, it made me appreciate the faults I have in my life, and how they are not as bad as others are out in the world. <div>
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I learned to appreciate what the stars, I shall say, has given me. Further more, the book, as I am not finished reading yet, is rather humorous and youthful. You can sorta see how the love develops between the two cancer-sicken teenagers, who obviously don't let the faults in their stars run their lives. With Augusta's metaphor of taking a cigarette and putting it between his teeth, but not giving it the power to kill you is extremely admirable. It makes you want to smack yourself for all the things you let take control of your life, and find a new way of helping to not let it kill you!</div>
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But for Hazel, it is much more of fear. The fear of hurting Augusta and the fear of dying and possibly the fear of oblivion. When I read from her perspective, I get a sense of joy, but also a sense of her feeling guilty because she has cancer and that affects everything she does and lives for. As I continue reading, I feel that it has more to do with the fears in her heart than the faults in her stars! Even though her fault is cancer and she may feel that because she has it, she can't do many things, but most of that is fear more than it is about cancer. She has the fear in her heart to give Augusta her full heart, without hurting him because she is sick and because she is AFRAID to die. She feels sad and guilty about having cancer because it makes her dad cry a lot! </div>
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Her only sense of knowledge comes from a book she reads called <i>An Imperial Affliction</i> which her curiosity brings her to wonder about life after death, not spiritually, but life wise.</div>
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Reading this book is eye opening. It makes me wonder about the things I fear and the things I do in this life. For example, one of Augusta's fears in the book is Oblivion. Well I also fear Oblivion because the though of being forgotten just scares the hell out of me. But it is good that it does, because now that gives me a reason to do something that will make me remembered, It will force me to do greater things and do what I was purposely out on this earth to do. Even if I am still unsure of what that is, I think I have a idea in mind. </div>
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If you haven't read this book, you should, It may do wonders for your life in ways you may have never thought. I'm going to finish reading now, till next time, chou!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-65767682825871331342014-05-21T17:00:00.000-04:002014-05-21T23:43:52.852-04:00Get Some Comedy In Your Life!Okay, so one of the things I love about myself and this world is the humor. The amount of people in this society that just carries itself with humor and sarcasm that brings joy to others face. I just love it so much.<br />
One of the things I like to watch that makes me laugh is Vines. My favorite is the one with shaq and the cat as they have a wiggle battle. (See gif below)<br />
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I just want others to know to put some humor in your life. Don't take life so serious all the time, because if you do, and work and work and work to get to where you are, you won't know how to enjoy the life you have. You must enjoy life and have a balance. It is the only way to live. I know that from experience because I was that person that worked and worked and worked and worked and never had fun. So when it came time for me to relax and chill out, I didn't know how to because it wasn't a norm for me. And so I kept telling everyone I didn't know how to relax and they would look at me like I was crazy.<br />
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So my mom set me a psychiatrist appointment and we went and he told me to have a balance in life between work and fun (my psychiatrist gives some really good advice). So that is what I am doing. I am having fun. But having fun doesn't mean having to go buck wild and forget about everything I have worked hard for. It means have fun while working, you know, make the best of the situations we get ourselves into. So just give it a try.<br />
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Right now things in my life seem fine. And I don't know how long it's going to last. But I'm not going to sit here and worry about how long. I just going to live in the moment, which is something I haven't done in a long time. So I am going with the flow, accepting and confronting the challenges that come my way. I know that I may face many in the future, but its make or break me and I choose the outcome for myself. <br />
And So Do You!<br />
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So just for fun, I am giving you a bunch of these crazy hilarious weird gifs:<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-72595984276971384202014-05-14T17:00:00.000-04:002014-05-15T16:17:58.980-04:00To Moving On....So for this blog, I presented my personal project last Friday. And my grade for it was an 87. So I think I did rather well. My effort to it was good, but I think I could have done better. But now that I got that over with, I am so happy to be free of thinking straight. Right now I feel that things have changed and that I have become full awakened.<br />
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The change took place after I wrote down how I was feeling. As I reflected upon what I was stressing about, I told myself to chill out and to relax. People were telling me to stop worrying about things out of my control and for the first time, I had listened. I felt that I wasn't worrying about college, or how I was going to take care of my mom in this future. I don't know what the future is going to be like, but I pray that I can reside myself in it and live happily.<br />
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So now, I feel happy and I am not stressed out about anything. I do things calmly, not worrying and over thinking things. I am just living in the moment, which is something I haven't been doing in a while. But now I am, and it feels good. I feel like a free bird that finally took a leap of faith and learned to fly.<br />
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Last weekend, I was volunteering for the Maryland Film Festival and I seen a lot of movies and met a lot of nice people. I felt like an adult and they treated me like one. I felt so free and independent and it felt really good. I got to see three movies, that were really really good. It made me feel like I belonged where I was. What I was seeing on the screen was like what I though everyday in my mind. And it was weird just seen my everyday thoughts on the screen, but it also felt really comfortable. I got to meet some of the filmmakers and I got some of their business cards. Definitely going to think about screen writing as a career.<br />
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Summer is almost here, School is almost out of session and I can't wait for it to all be over. This summer is going to be exciting, I can feel it! Hope the same goes for you, express with you next week! Tootles.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-14003848786735176022014-05-07T16:53:00.001-04:002014-05-07T16:53:51.013-04:00Treatment Diagnosis: MDD<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So it is true. I have been diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder. I never truly knew what was wrong with me. All I really knew was that something was wrong.<br />
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The panic attacks are becoming daily know. I have been trying my best not to freak out at the fact that everything is fine. It doesn't feel like it is fine. It just feels like something is about to go tremendously wrong.<br />
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I have to give my therapists reports of when I have these attacks so that is fun. I also have been being sorta antisocial. I have been avoiding my friends, and sometimes my family. My diet has changed, meaning I don't have a appetite for anything anymore, except for lots of hot tamales and peanut chews.<br />
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I know I am being honest about my life, but I feel that I am being straightforward with you, because I want you to know my struggle and how I deal with myself and how it influences my writing.<br />
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When I talked to my therapist yesterday, she told me that I should really start writing those ideas I have into short stories and I think I will. I would have posted them, but I also have trust issues!<br />
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For any of you struggling with depression, anxiety, or any mental disability for that matter, I just want you to know that one day it will get better. The next day will be better than the last, and it takes time to get back to feeling normal. Lord knows I have a way to go, but I'm trying none the least. I'm trying to inform others and give them the opportunity to give input for me.<br />
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I was reading this book the other day called "Thirteen Reasons Why". It is really good so far, and one quote that I remember from it that I liked is, "In the End, Everything Matters.". It made me think a lot about the people who influenced who I am today, in some good ways and bad ones. I just want to say thanks for all you do. You didn't have to meet me or ever talk to me, but somehow we did and I really appreciate ever knowing you and what I gained from you.<br />
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In conclusion, I now feel that I hold no regrets and neither should you. Cause life is not about "what if?", it's about what you do now! It is about the relationships you make with people and others. It doesn't matter how you make those connection, it just matters that you!<br />
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And with this day forward, I have started writing a book called daydreams. This book will capture all the day dreams I have had in the present and in the future. I am starting this because I feel that it can help me to distinguish what really happened and what didn't in my life. I think I need that because I can't really remember my past that much. It's not there, it's all a blur. But today is about the future, not the past, so I am building something that in the future can make a lifetime. Hope you can do the same.<br />
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Just always remember when you write, write with a purpose, it doesn't even have to be to someone, just write what you feel and God will guide you. And if you are not religious, then whatever floats you boat will drift you ashore, when you least expect it, but also when you need it the most.<br />
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Lately, I have been doing some thinking that involves me being anti-social. I have decided to distant myself away from others when it comes to expressing how I feel about my diagnoses. I don't want people to know what is going on with me right now because I am not ready for a whole lot of questions and a whole lot of pity for the depressed. I just want to lurk in the shadows and read my books and keep to myself.<br />
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I have been reading a whole lot and I am gaining knew knowledge that helps to me revise some of my creative writings. Remember that poem "How Some People Are", well I have been doing lots of revisions on that, dealing with syntax. If you don't know what syntax is, it is by Google definition: the arrangement of words and phrases to create well-formed sentences in a language. The way I arrange my words is always the same, but this time I am trying to make my sentences shorter but also long, but with a pattern. I am also trying to better my shifts and transitions from one stanza to the next.<br />
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See the thing about poetry I like the most is that it is rhythmic and it just falls off the tongue. It is your way of telling a story or expressing an idea. It is poetic and very intimate between the reader and the speaker. That relationship must be maintained because if it isn't, it could throw your audience off of the perspective you want them to see. You must be clear with your audience as I said before, but you must also give them a deeper/broader meaning to what you are saying, because poetry must have purpose because words have purpose.<br />
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I have been some revising on my poem "How Some People Are", this is what I got so far:<br />
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Some people are bullies</div>
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They manipulate people in sight</div>
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They love to call people rude names</div>
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They only do it to start fights</div>
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Have you heard of Tyler Perry's movies</div>
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With the famous Madea of might</div>
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Well their favorite is to call Tyler Perry</div>
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A homosexual or a transvestite </div>
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See their parents like to drink</div>
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Their favorites are beer and wine</div>
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But when the glass of liquor spills</div>
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Police come over to investigate the abusive crime</div>
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My mom would kill for E &J</div>
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With the right amount of liquor and the right amount of ice</div>
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It's the best time to ask her questions</div>
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She'll be nice at ease and concise. </div>
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See it's all about the breakfast club </div>
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The kids with parent issues</div>
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The ones that realized no difference lay</div>
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in the personalities they'd once labeled and misused</div>
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I'm a victim to some of those problems</div>
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Like being ignored or not telling the truth</div>
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But most of my problems are within myself</div>
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Things I shouldn't be worrying about in my fountain of youth</div>
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Just like in the perks of being a wallflower</div>
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When those memories from the past</div>
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Come to haunt you in your vision </div>
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And cause the happiness in your life not to last</div>
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See in this life it's hard to trust, </div>
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And also have belief</div>
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Because it means you have to lose something</div>
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And not all of us can cope with that much grief.</div>
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Cause losing someone really hurts</div>
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It breaks your heart deep inside</div>
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It shatters your perspective of everything </div>
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In which happiness is denied</div>
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That's why people are the way they are</div>
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They experience something not too great</div>
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And it changes them for better or worse</div>
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In a lifetime where conflict never inflates</div>
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So we can't blame bullies for being tyrants</div>
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Nor blame a wallflower for being so shy</div>
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Fot that is how some people are in this world</div>
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Because bliss is hard to come by</div>
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But sure enough, once in a while </div>
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That pain in the heart infinitely soars </div>
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To give you back the life you lost </div>
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So that happiness can be restored. </div>
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Is it better or not. Please let me know which one you like better. </div>
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Email me at rejjiacamphor43@aol.com</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12593318618376574824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745316522137880472.post-57458138589428547082014-04-23T20:18:00.000-04:002014-08-17T02:33:02.281-04:00You Say Tomato, I say Tomatoe!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">When you write about what you want to, you can portray anything you want from any perspective. I like to make my perspectives come from others and mine mixed together. I know it sounds complicated, but it isn't. It actually makes you question how things are perceived. Anyway, the point I am trying to get at is that, when you write, you should write and say things the way you feel they should be looked at. I do that in my poems. For example, here is my poem "<i>The Devil's Blue Kiss".</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">It’s never nice, especially on a good </span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">day, Where it loves and would,</span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">Tell of your secrets as if you were,</span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">Playing a game of taboo. </span><br />
<span style="color: lime;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 18px;"> It loves tricks, no treats</span></span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">With a smile of tender deceit, </span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">And fists that pound your heart</span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">Into crystallized rocks made of fire. </span><br />
<span style="color: lime;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 18px;"> It blows like the water of the dam</span></span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">With pressure as to beat hydraulic ram</span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">And it’s manipulation give you the feel</span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">Of something tickling your mind</span><br />
<span style="color: lime;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 18px;"> And then shouted out in prayer</span></span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">It says, I’m here to cause pain and affair</span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">In meas to destroy and then wheeze</span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">With a thruster of Destruction</span><br />
<span style="color: lime;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 18px;"> And to ones extent can any intrude</span></span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">To stop my wrath, my dress of dark blued</span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">Lace, With painted sadness and torture</span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">Just like the kiss of Klimt</span><br />
<span style="color: lime;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 18px;"> But to one desire may one cause</span></span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">A pain so great that made laws of</span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">Fury, that ended that blue dress and</span><br />
<span style="color: lime; line-height: 18px;">Made one of flower and hope painted white</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">See the way that I used the color blue would probably be different in someone else's perception. Some would think of blue as in terms of the sky or of water and that its mood is tenderness. But to me, I see blue as sadness and </span></span><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">deceitfulness. The way people portray things are so much different, but the meaning being given it the same. The most important thing I would say is in writing is purpose and figurative language. It makes everything more easier and emphasized so that you may get that feeling of what the poet it talking about. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">All I am trying to say is that writing can come from many perspectives and whoever you choose to make it come from is up to you. Just make sure that you do enough to get your point across, but also make sure that your reader understands. And it might not be the interpretation you were looking for, but at least they found a way to gain knowledge or clarity from it. </span></span></div>
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