Coming to an End

So I've decided a few things about life. 

The first is: 

Life is fair no matter what. It is society that is not!

The second is:

You may never find that one person who sees all the bullshit behind who you truly are! Lord knows people are blind!

The third is:

Love hurts, especially when the person you love has no idea.

The fourth is:

Suicidal thoughts can be helpful; sometimes.

The fifth is:

Feminism is a good strategy to empowerment.

The sixth is:

Doubt in religion can make you more spiritual

The seventh is:

Listen to some of the moments presented to you in life. They want to tell you something.

The eighth is:

You should use yolo to be young and reckless, just be young and reckless.

The ninth is:

Ignorance is bliss

The tenth is: 

You will never ever truly be happy because sadness is the only truest emotion that doesn't need to be said; its to be felt.

The Fact of the matter Is....

That is why it all must come to an end. Not this life, but the ideas of this life, this culture, this society. But first, I must get myself together, for my heart and mind do not agree, and therefore cause me to die inside. So Farewell, Until We Meet Again!

Evaluating the Mindstate

I love Rocky Horror Picture Show!

Hello my readers, today has been like any other day in Baltimore City, hot, long and ignorant. While I struggle to maintain my vision of my future, It is further corrupted and affecting the personality of the person I want to be in this world. But you know, I'm not going to get into that because it will just further make me mad. Instead, I will talk about how my lifestyle is now, now that school is back in session. Extra-Curricular activities are my life now. Ever since my leg injury, I have been able to participate in my clubs early this year and man is it insane.

My new theme for the year!

Firstly, I have debate club in which I love without a doubt. The new resolution for this year is The United States Federal Government Should Substantially increase its non-military exploration and/or development of the earth's oceans. Yeah, it's broad, but hey, it is all about interpretation. Anyway, as I work on my cards and notes for that, I still have to be assigned a partner which is like ugh, because that means I have to find someone. And sometimes I am not the best finder of things.

Secondly, my next obligation is Robotics. This year is to be very competitive because we lost last year and it didn't feel to great. So this year, we are getting our start. This year, we have to design a robot that has to be able to move these plastic cubes and stack them. It's called Skyrise and it is being run Vex Competitions. Even though it seems challenging, our robot brainstorming has it's underway.

Thirdly, my next club obligation is Newspaper. Yes it is a way to actually get my stuff read from paper print, and I can write about anything I want. That is the beauty of it. Other than these, I have clubs that are still going underway for later in the year like ADL, One City One Book and Bcc Echoes.

I am not really worried about the schoolwork now, but I bet later, it will get worse, but until then, I am going to live in the moment. Other than schoolwork, back comes the issue of school dues. I have to buy my ring and all the payment has to be in by October 30th. I have this to worry about, and I also have my homelife to worry about. I seriously need to start working. I know some of you might be like, "Uh, Do you even have the time for a job?". Maybe I do, and maybe I don't, but I have to put my education and my family first, and if anyone with leadership skills, they will understand the perdicament I am in. I won't let it get the best of me, but I know it won't be easy. All I can hope for now is that everything works out for the best. Because the one true statement I will always believe is that "Things Change, Friends Leave, and Life Doesn't Stop For Anybody!" 

Goodnight and inform you again!

Time is for the Futhermore

I know, I know. I haven't posted in a while and that has made me kinda sad because I really have nothing to talk about right now. I am living in the moment and trying to make the best of everyday. Most of the decisions I am making are good, and when I am caught between a dilemma, I used something close to Eenie Meenie. It's called: "Cas Sausage Is Out" I don't know, but anyway, I have something exciting in mind for you. Starting Monday, I have some tasks for everyone do until the month of July is out. Take them at your own pace. They are very simple so they shouldn't be a burden. But before I list them, check out this new persuasion piece I am writing:

Flying isn't just a metaphor, it's a reality. Some things in life may seem to good to be true, but maybe acceptance is the only way. We are so quick to deny what may seem to be impossible when maybe it's us that's afraid. We are always so in a rush to get somewhere that we forget the true purpose for even starting the journey. We all want to fulfill our destiny in this world, but it takes time and patience and consideration. The only thing we can do is live in the moment until it is time to make the seconds count.

Yeah, that is all I have so far, but It something. I'm not finished, but something will come of it. Anyway, here are your tasks for now. Please email me or send pictures of how they are going (rejjiacamphor43@aol.com)

Task #1: Whenever you have an embarrassing moment, number it, (for example, Embarrassing Moment #23: Get excited when someone sees you, but it actually turns out that they were talking to someone else). I have had about a number of these and I just give big numbers to describe them. Think of it as an inside joke!

Task #2: Go into a store and buy something you don't want. I bet you later, you will be glad to have it. I once went into an art store and just wanted drawing pencils. But then I ended up getting a sketch book that I didn't want. Now I use that sketchbook almost everyday at work. I draw random things and people and eyes of cousrse.

Task #3: Have a stare-off with a stranger. They will have to eventually break, so you'll win, but until then STARE! Even though it may seem weird to do this with a stranger, it is also a nice way of trying to see into someone's deeper side.

Task #4: Learn how to draw a human eye. I tried for so long to draw an eye and I could never do it right. But if you learn how to, you will draw them on everything. And this time, it will actuallly look good.

Task #5: Look in the mirror and point out something good about yourself. I don't think I have a pretty face, but I try to look for things I like about myself. Like my feet and my hands. The more confident you feel about those parts of yourself, the less you can focus on the negative and build to see the best in yourself.

Task #6: Call and tell your family members and friends that you love them. You never know when you could lose them. So say it now, in your own words. Many people don't say I love you enough and many people also neglect to tell others how they feel. So why don't you just make a call or stop by the house and say your way of saying "I Love You". (Others like Sam say Dido!)

Task #7: Try Netflix for once in your life. It is a really good place to watch things you are similarly interested in. They have lots of shows and movies. (I'm addicted to HIMYM and Being Human)

Task #8: Exercise every once in a while. I am not much of a body builder, but I do exercise when I can. I am a soccer player so I am required to train for the season. I also do yoga. It doesn't have to be intense, but try and move those body parts. I walked the Gwynns Falls Trail with a friend and got lost. But it was fun. You never know what you can do unless you try.

Task #9: Read a good book. Lately, I have been slipping on reading and I am trying to get back into those other worlds. Recently, I began reading If I Stay by Gayle Forman. It is really good. Try the next time you get a chance to read a good book. You might just find out something you didn't know about youself.

Task #10: Write a letter to someone. It doesn't matter who, it only matters that you did it. Today's society is so heavily impacted by technology that people forget about the lovely back in the day styles of pen and paper being the means of communicaton. Next time you need to let someone know something, take a minute to think about what you are going to say and write it out.

Task #11: Take pictures to remember the moment. I take my camera with me almost everywhere. If I don't want to miss something, I take a picture. If I just want to be funny, I'll take picture. And the picture doesn't have to be of yourself, let someone else share the spotlight. I am barely in the photos I take because I saw the moment and I wanted them to be capture. So the next time you go out, take a camera with you and click!

I just hope it lasts!

But It Can Have Its Consequences!

Inspiration isn’t often hard to find. It comes around when it feels like it, or when it is needed. You find it out of the simplest things, and sometimes out of your dreams. It can be annoying sometimes and right when you’re about to go to sleep, it comes. It forces you to type it up or write it down and when that happens, it begins. The stress, the force of having to do it because if you don’t, you won’t remember. And so you would rather be up all night and tired the next day than to let that one idea go, because deep down inside, one day that idea could make you worth something. And that is all you want. You want to be known, you want someone you don’t know to know your name. You want to be stopped by a stranger and thanked for changing someone’s lives because of your book. You want to know that you matter to someone. Sure, who doesn’t want that, everyone does. But what makes you qualified? How do you know that you could handle that kind of pressure? How do you know that you’re not going to break down everytime it gets too stressful? What are you going to do?

I don’t know. But all I can be sure of is that I am trying my best to live a life that will make me happy. As much as I want to make others happy, I have to make sure I am happy. All my life, I have forgotten that responsibility comes when needed. It has a time and a purpose. Right now, everything is good and I don’t know how long that is going to last. But for right now, I don’t care because i just want to enjoy it. Not just sit around and wait for it all to crumble down. I have been waiting for this moment, this summer, this feeling for as long as I can remember, and when it finally showed up, I had no idea how to feel. I felt that is was wrong, that is wasn’t okay to feel this way. I felt that it was too good to be true. But then it all was okay because I knew it would be. I had plans and I knew that as soon as those were over, I would have the time to discover who I was. I would have the chance to do what I wanted, to be who I truly was.

And I was. The smiles, the faces, the feelings and emotions that were spoken to me though actions were all worth while. I took a trip to another place and it felt good to get away. It felt wonderful not having to take care of those I knew could handle themselves. It felt good not to have to worry about something. I knew everything was okay and I was fine. No anxiety, No breakdowns and no crying when I didn’t want to. I didn’t have to pretend, or be ashamed of who I really was. I could express myself and be myself and just doing that made me feel human. It made me feel apart of something. It made me matter. And the fact that I could feel that way was phenomenal. And the thing is, I didn’t even need to have an idea to do it. Because I didn’t have to hide, to create some other character that would describe how I felt. I could be myself. And it felt good.

I just hope it lasts.