Saturday, December 12, 2015

I Don't Know Where To Begin~!

Dear World,

Lord only knows how long it has been since I've written to you. It's ridiculous and I ask for your forgiveness. There is a lot going on and to sum it up will be quite simple, don't trust me!

First of all, I am a senior now!
But I've been a senior for a couple of months and It's not all cracked up as it is suppose to be. I'm still tired and sleepy and busy. I still get to school late and I still get good grades. Sometimes I believe I can do it, that I can finish out strong, but sometimes I be feeling like:

Yes somewhere in between the time I stopped blogging and me starting to blog again, I have become more open. According to my sister, I have become "ratchet" but I don't understand how. 
Anyway, as I've said before, a lot has happened. I have been in a relationship and not I'm out of one. I have been awarded stuff and struggled to feel loved. I don't really know where to begin in this. All there is to know it that:
1. I've gotten surgery on my ACL and I'm getting surgery.
2. I dated someone and broke up with them because they were obsessive. 
3. I am a senior now. I am applying to a lot of colleges and want to study Creative Writer. 
4. Sometimes I want to give up and let life win. 
5. I feel pain pretty often and that's not good because it's affecting my health 
6. I haven't written or read anything for leisure in a while
7. I am still alone and still feel that way even around people I call friends. 
8. I am bisexual and change modes of gender when I want,
9. I still in ways hate myself
10. But I don't want to die!

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