Wednesday, February 26, 2014

How Some People Are

I never shared this poem with you, but it is a working progress. It is on the way people act and how I observe it. I kinda of use things I like so if you know what I am talking about, you are living life correctly, but if not, GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER. This poem if for you and I hope you like it. Remember this is not finished and please do not steal my work. Please don't. Cause I will find you and I will kill you (Liam Neeson Taken)

Some people are bullies 

And they love to pick on small heights

They love to call people names

They do it constantly out of spite

You've heard of Tyler Perrys  movies

And Madea who likes to fight 

Well their favorite is to call Tyler Perry

A homo or a transvestite.

Parents like to drink

Their favorite is liquor and wine

But when the glass of liquor spills

To them its like murder or a serious crime 

My moms favorite is E&J or either Smirnoff

She gets her glass and fills it with ice
Its the best time to ask her questions
Cause she’ll be ease and concise.

I know you’ve seen the breakfast club
Where everyone had parent issues
But they realized between them lie no difference
In the personalities they had labeled and misused

I don’t have problems with my parents
Like others usually do
It’s usually something I had with myself
Or others, that’s what makes me so blue.

Cause with the perks of being a wallflower
Comes the problems of the past
That haunt you in your vision
To cause happiness not to last

See it’s one thing to trust
And another to have belief
But if that meant having to lose something
I couldn’t cope with such grief

Cause some people like to hurt you
Steal your heart and tell lies
They pretend to be your friend
And cause tears to come from your eyes

That’s the way people are
They are mean and selfish
But I can’t say everyones like that
There are some people who are generous

Some people are special
And are often very rare
They change your life for the better
To make you really care

Like give a life for a life
To make a change in a wrong
And help others be good
To give a love that last so long

Thursday, February 20, 2014

30 Challenges to Help You Start New Good Habits

So over the weekend, I was using the app StumbleUpon to find some self-improving stuff and I came across this list of good habits. They give you thirty challenges and you choose like three or five of them and you try them for a month. I thought it was a good idea to try it, so I am going to list the thirty challenges and maybe you'll want to try it yourself! Here is the list:

  1. Write a "I like this about you" or "I appreciate you" not to someone via email, text or letter. This could be for anyone. 
  2. Talk to one stranger a day. I find that this is already a habit I posses, this now just gives me an excuse to do it! (ha,ha)
  3. Take one picture a day. I am seriously lacking this. I used to use my camera on my phone daily, but since I don't have a phone, Am I Excused?
  4. Re-evaluate one long held belief each day. This is very important. I think this should be tried. 
  5. Take a thirty minute walk a day. It is great exercise and gives you time to think!
  6. Take a moment each day to practice self-compassion and love. Exactly what it says.
  7. Try a new recipe each day.
  8. Refrain from alcohol or drugs. Yall all weed and DEFINITELY SMOKERS, GOD YOU KILL ME LITERALLY!
  9. Write a fifty thousand word novel in thirty days.
  10. Learn how to draw a human face. I still can't do it, but I try to every other day. 
  11. Watch a documentary each day. 
  12. Read a chapter each day. This can be of any day of any book. 
  13. Study a topic you would like to master.
  14. Walk/Run/Drive a new route to work or school.
  15. Read a new article on any website you would like to. 
  16. Media fast for thirty days meaning to not get on facebook, twitter, myspace, or instagram for thirty days. 
  17. Pick a bad habit of yours and ditch it for thirty days. Shouldn't be hard right?
  18. Inspire yourself each day. This leads to creativity guys, remember, writing is key to knowledge and identity. 
  19. Take a cold shower each day. I was told this was bad for your body, but eh, who wants to take the chance?
  20. Think of a accomplishment you would want to achieve each year for thirty years. 
  21. Practice a random skill each day. This is very fun!!!!!
  22. Take the stairs every chance you get. I kinda cheat on this one because I sometimes get tired and don't want to walk up those stairs. Ugh!
  23. Wake up early everyday. You'll definitely get to school early. Ha!
  24. Keep a journal. It is beneficial. Read some of my journal entries, you would know. But it really is helpful and it helps you to remember things throughout the year. 
  25. Don't lie for thirty days. This is really a hard one but I did it, so why can't you?
  26. Combine some of these challenges together. I think this one on this list was just a freebie, it doesn't really give you a good thing to do. So here is one I suggest, look at yourself in the mirror each day and say something good about what you see. 
  27. Do something that scares you every day. Who would want to do that?
  28. Don't complain for an entire day. To all those ratchet people, this is for you!
  29. Meditate each day. This is very good, doing yoga and playing a sport is very good for you physical health. I think I might do badminton. 
  30. And the final one is to do a selfless act for a stranger or anyone. Be nice, help that person for a day, do something to show them you care. Just try it. 
Well that is it for today, but I hope to hear good things. Hasta La Vista.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Journal Entries

Did I ever mention that I have a journal. Well I do and before you all go off calling it a diary, It's not! I just think that a person needs to write down what they feel. This journal keep me in tact and I write in it daily. I write about my home situation, my personal life and just other stuff. I think I am getting to a point in this blog where I feel I need to get Vulnerable. I mean isn't that what makes things interesting. So I will discuss in detail some of the private things of my life. They might seen embarrassing but it's my life. So here we go.

So in the journal basically I am describing my transitioning process. I have just moved up the street from my old neighborhood into a new house. This time I have my own room, which gives me the right to my own privacy. (Hallelujah, Thank the Lord!) Anyway, with the moving, it made everything for me busy because I had to make time for my mom while also trying to balance doing schoolwork. This caused me to lose focus with my own life, I was losing touch with my friends and getting very mad at my family. So I began to zone out. I was losing hope in myself, in my writing and I didn't want to talk about it with anyone, so I wrote it down. I have a therapist, but she doesn't help much. She just sits there and asks me how I feel about this and that. Since that never helped, I assumed the role of feeling like I wasn't a real person. I felt like a sociopath with no emotion, I guess that is why I am so good in Drama. I think it was easier to assume the identity of someone else's instead of your own because you can forget about your problems and your situation for a while.

My way of getting out of that funky mood was to take a break. So I went over my friends house. Her name is Tykiera. We went out to White Marsh to go see this really funny Rated R movie called That Awkward Moment. It was really funny and really awkward because we had to watch Zac Efron have sex with this girl while Tykiera's mom was there. It was suppose to just be me and her, but she didn't know it was Rated R so she was forced to stay. After that her mom left, me and Tykiera roamed the mall and bought a little bit of jewelry. I ate at Chick-Fil-A for the first time. They have really good chicken. After that we went home and the next day, we watched the superbowl. It was the Denver Broncos vs. the Seattle Seahawks. The Broncos won!

After that I went home back to my busy life. It rained when I left which is a sign of sadness and a sign that someone died somewhere (I'm a deep person). I got to school on the time for the first time because I was always late to my first period. I don't roam the halls or anything like that, it's just that I always am late catching the bus (But in the present, I am early to school). Anyway, on this particular day back to school, I got all my results from the midterm back. My best Midterm is a 94 from Spanish. I though my highest would be Drama since I did have a hundred in that class for 1st and 2nd quarter. I got a eighty-three on my midterm for Drama. I was devastated, I thought I would have done better on that, but of course, there was little mistakes! I found out I got a sixty six on my Algebra midterm and I have a D+ in Chemistry. The thing was that I really started not to care about it to much, because I knew that things would get better, or at least I hoped.

The next week was still a struggle. I began telling myself that I wasn't stressed so that my body wouldn't feel like it was. Moving into the new house and unpacking was postponed which left me to have to sleep in my mom's room for the time being. I kinda didn't like that because that meant me having to take  break from inner darkness which is watching porn. I don't watch it all the time, but on this week, I watched Dawson's Creek for about fifteen hours straight. I like to watch it because it gives me clarity. The show came out the year I was born so I think I was destined to relate to it. Anyway, watching this show was giving me clarity on who I want to be, not what others expect me to become. I was also getting this sense of why I always felt so alone. It's because I wanted someone there with me. Someone I could confide to in my time of struggle, someone who would hold me when I need them to. I just wanted someone there to talk to.

But now I feel that through all these journal entries I can reflect. I am not alone anymore, I can communicate with you guys.I Whether it is physically or technically, it's still a interaction. Anyway, this is the stuff that I usually write in my journal. I need to start writing in it like I did before, but I don't know anymore, it's just so much easier talking to you guys. But let me just write in it one more time before I decide to let it go. Tootles!

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

All of You Listen Close.

Today's post is serious. I wrote a poem at the end of last year that I have really been pushing to get noticed. It's called listen and I wrote it to define what I want from the world. It is mostly to tell the world how I feel and what I don't want vs. what I do. I hope you all like it. I also hope that it touches you as much as it touches me. I wish that you gain something from it and it will bring you clarity to something that has been troubling in your life.
Just Listen
Just listen

And listen to me good.
Hang on to every word I’m about to say.
Because I really mean it.
Don’t take it as a joke
But really understand what I feel.
So just listen.

Sometimes when you want to be yourself
And stand out from everyone else
It backfires.
You end up becoming them
The ones you don’t want to conform to.
And you don’t really realize this until
The Aftermath of it all.

I don’t want to be that way anymore.
I want to be taken seriously and not be afraid.
I want to be able to lead and know that
People can trust in me.
I don’t want to be laughed at anymore
Or looked upon for my appearance ways
I want to be what I was born to be: A Leader

I’m not a person who takes pride in always being silent.
I like to stand out and be different because
I’m not like everyone else.
I see the world differently in my eyes
Than people see in theirs.
I see a world of love, struggle, and of sometimes despair.
But all that can change if you just listen

If all of us help each other at what we do best
Then I promise we can all become
something unlike rest.
A place, a world, of individuals
Who don’t give up hope
And know that we can depend upon
Someone else when we are feeling apathetic

All you need to do is listen
Not just with your ears, but with
Your mind, with your heart, and with your soul.
Use your experience to guide for
Change in who you are and
what you do in this life. That will determine
The hope given to us in which we seek and ask.

So again I ask you to just listen
Listen to the words that I have written
Understand what I am asking from you.
Guidance, Perseverance,and Leadership.
And even if I don’t ever achieve what I wanted
Even if I don’t make it, I’ll always know that
I Tried. I Hoped. And I Listened.

Are You Listening?