Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Writing About What Matters.

When I began writing, I never thought that it would impact my life as well as it has. I started writing creatively in elementary school. I started with the writing of my first poem called "Good and Bad". I'll post it at the end. But for now, I just want to touch the hearts to why writing is so important for you and for me and the world.

Writing to me has always been my way of explaining or telling things to other people. I write not because I have to but because I WANT to. And the fact of the matter is, I write like I talk. I write as if I am talking or having a conversation and I don't feel that it is wrong. Writing is something in my life that no one will ever change unless I decide to do it. My point to you is to write how you want to write. I mean Stephen Chbosky's character Charlie never had a problem with it. Why should you? Forget about what others think of you and how you write. If you are being yourself, and expressing yourself in a way that makes you comfortable, then so be it. Don't let others change your life because of the simple fact that they do not have the power to do so. It is you. I may not be the most proficient person to write and have the perfect grammar, but I'm just writing what I feel. I writing because I have something to say. A voice that I feel SHOULD NOT BE IGNORED, but rather LISTENED TO. I want others to see from my point of view what the world is like in order to make some kind of clarity in other people's lives somewhere. I not saying it will happen overnight, but it will make a change somewhere, in someone's life, who just so happened to be feeling the same way.

With my situation, I have always felt as though I need to care about what others think because they determine what I become in the long run. But the thing is, none of that statement is true. I determine what I become in the long run. Not my mother, not my teachers, not my friend, ME! And the problem was that I felt that it had to be that way, all the time. I had to care about what other people say because they have to like what I say to get support and all that baloney. I felt that I had to be ass-kisser basically. But what I have come to realize is that I am not a ass-kisser. I am a leader and a good one at that. My problem needs a solution and the only way I know how to find one is by reading, writing and finding clarity through wisdom. And that is exactly what I am doing with an old book I love very much that helps me to find clarity. The book is called The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. Have you ever read it. If you haven't you should and if you have, lucky you!

Anyway, what I got from this book is that it is okay to feel things. The main problem in life is that we feel we need to satisfy others and so we neglect our own opinion and feelings. We do whatever it takes to make someone else happy and they you have to suffer all the grief and anxiety worrying about others and how they will react to you and what you are doing. But the things I realized is that I HAVE FEELING TOO GOD DAMMIT! WHEN CAN I LIVE MY LIFE? I have been so worried about taking care of others, worry about how this person will react if I do this or what will happen if I do that so much that I have failed to live my own life. Where is my time of freedom, stupidity, time of being a dump careless teenagers. When did the time come where I became a adult in high school? Can you tell me cause I seriously can't remember the last time I did something for me. And I think that is why I write, because I think that it is the only thing that really belongs to me and is for me. I feel that I write because I want to, not for others. That has always been the problem.

I have been doing things for others my entire life, For example, when I joined Robotics club. I did that because I heard going into STEM careers could earn you some serious money. So I hoped on the opportunity. I did that because I want to know that I can be successful in the future. I want to know that I will have enough money to support me and my mother and also be able to pay my bills. And that is when I began doing things for others. I was living for my mom, trying to support her, but I don't live in the future yet, nor should I be worrying about something I cannot control. In the end though, I turned out to actually like robotics and I will consider it for a college major along with Drama, Film, Creative Writing, and Cultural Mythology. I know it is a lot but it is worth it.

But going back to Stephen Chboksy, the thing I most importantly learned from his is to express yourself. Say how you feel, write it out to a anonymous person or participate in life and be interactive with others. The purpose of writing is that simple fact of EXPRESSION. If not for yourself, do it for the others who can't put what they feel into words. Talk and write for those who don't know what the problem in the world is. Express how the world makes you feel and your struggle or strength of living in this society. That is what it means to Write About What Matters!

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